Summertime and I’m encouraged to stay away from heavy topics. So, I’m still traveling up and down the coastline of California. I discovered a foreign language spoken here that is used to describe wine. I knew a wine language existed, but it is highly developed here and encrypted and sometimes hard to understand. Here goes!

I drove through miles and miles of vineyards and did wine tasting in Sonoma and Napa. Sonoma was more fun for me, a lot less formal and much more upbeat. Napa seems a bit more formal and serious minded. The most exciting thing about this area and the abundance of wine is that it is a great way to greet and end the day. Well, for me ending the day is more appropriate since I’m sensitive to alcohol during the day, but oh, those evenings.

Drinking during the day is not my favorite thing to do. With the first sip or two I’m high, but I decided to give it a chance. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it, and I volunteered.

Let’s talk about the lingo: tannins, touches of chocolate, a bit of vanilla, rich with blueberries, fruit essence, generous, muscle, has legs, citrusy, inky dark with hints of cherries, velvety texture, bold, timid, briary, barky, wild, spicy, anise, body, cloves, and on and on.

There is an unending list of fruits and vegetables used to describe wine. Here is an shortened list: pear, lemon, peach, nectarine, avocado, orange, melon, apple, mushrooms, truffles, raspberries, plum, currants, peaches, nectarines, etc.

Toasty and earthy have a place in many wines. Some explode with flavors galore, some implode with aromas and some retreat into themselves. Then there’s an unending list of comparing wines to jams and marmalades.

As soon as I got to my computer I googled a site – Maholo.com and perused their article, “How to Talk About Wine” and found the array of words and descriptions dizzying. They said for starters, “Winese does contain some rhyme and reason.”

For example they use words like (not necessarily in the order they suggested): “Earthy, leathery, toasty, rough, green, young, old, simple, ripe, flabby, fat, vivid, corky, muddled, and minerality.  I pause here to take a deep breath before continuing: Terroir, off-dry, sour, crisp, fresh, fruity, sappy, zesty, turpentine like, floral, perfumy and smoky to name a few. Not to forget, oaky, glycerol, nose, body, balance and structure.”

Of course, we all know there are wines for all kinds of foods. The ones that come to mind that that an array of wines accompany well are barbequed ribs, standing rib roast, butterflied marinated lamb, tender steaks, herb-encrusted salmon, halibut in wine sauce, lobster, and shrimp stuffed with crab – and, oh yes, wine, wine, wine. Enough to make one salivate.

And along the way there were more words to describe wine. Let’s not exclude jasmine, curry and ginger, not to mention hints of flowers from roses to daisies. There’s talk of sexy and sultry sensations on the palate and tongue – sensual and daring. Mmmmmm, now we’re getting somewhere.

The pleasure was in tasting so many wines and many that were exotic for me — the woman who buys most wines for $12.00 and under per bottle. Ooooooooooh so good.

Signing off from the wine country,

The sexy G.

 I think practically every geographic area has its own personality. The East Coast seems hurried, business-like and the people, generally, cold and distant.  The heartland comes across in a down-home, country folksy manner. And then there is the South where hospitality and politeness reign (no matter what is seething beneath the surface). Of course, these are stereotypes, but I think it’s fair to generalize and say that each particular section of the country gives off an overall aura or a sense of communal mannerisms.

I’m in Malibu, California right now, visiting old friends. I needed a haircut and my friend took me to a terrific beauty parlor she highly recommended. When the beautician asked what I wanted, I told her I’d settle for long, straight, blonde hair and blue eyes. She said she could only handle the hair.

I wanted to stay in Malibu just a little longer, but I was asked to leave town because I have dark brown eyes and am a brunette and never owned nor do I now own a wet suit. (kidding, of course — but seriously, if they could, I get the sense they would).

Practically everyone here has a wet suit! Children as young as three have wet suits (they may own them at even younger ages, but I didn’t see that. I noticed a lot of young kids like to stick their tongues out at passing cars. Why they think this bothers the drivers is beyond me. Maybe it’s a catharsis for the children or maybe it’s a native greeting to tourists. At least, I didn’t see them throwing the rocks on the roadside that can be easily gathered at the foot of the cliffs.

Malibu is quite beautiful with sweeping views of the Pacific, a low mountain range, valleys and a gorgeous climate. It is stunning and gives a sense of freedom. You would expect that this exhilerating place gives people a feeling they are free to express themselves in many different ways. I don’t get that sense of free-will. I find the appearance of this luxurious life rather cookie-cutter and very constricted.

Go to a less expensive suburb and you find many of the same restriction, but on a smaller scale. Is this kind of communal control done because of insecurity? Do they need everyone to look and act the same in order to develop a sense of belonging? That way of living seems to be a suburban theme song no matter how gorgeous or unattractive the locale may be. Although people don’t look alike in most areas here most seem to have distinct similarities — pale skin (little to no tanning), heart-shaped faces, small noses, high cheek bones (excellent plastic surgeons abound), clear skin and trim bodies. And, as in other areas, there is an implied demand for everyone to conform to the unwritten rules of behavior and dress. So, what’s missing here? Diversity? I think so.

If you don’t have a panoramic view of the Pacific, then you make do with a snippet because you can still say you have an ocean view. If you can’t make that claim, you might be thought of as are poverty stricken even if your house costs a few million. An ocean view guides and misguides people.

Go into a snazzy restaurant in the evening and now you must wear a brilliantly white outfit to go with your blonde hair and blue eyes. Your clothing might appear casual, but the clothing you wear better come off as well selected and very expensive. You must be magnificently coiffed, even though it is a simple-looking style, or else you stand out like a sore thumb and everyone stares disdainfully. You cringe in a corner if you’ve dared to wear black. Casual but costly is the regulation mode of dress.

There are surfers galore here! When not at their jobs of hitting the beaches and waves, they might be seen wearing machine torn jeans of the hundred dollar and upward ilk and designer shirts. I wonder who supports these surfers and if no one, how do they survive? Is there a surfer fairy, like the tooth fairy, that puts money under pillows of those who have successfully ridden the crest of an enormous wave earlier in the day?

From time to time you see an aging surfer type (and, I stress, it is only an impression like everything else written) who has a specific look. He has perfectly cut white shoulder length-hair that is faintly tinted blonde. Also, he sports a very trim beard and has a sturdy build. This type walks around prominently so you can see he was once (or still might be) a surfer dude. Old surfer dudes better have gathered some money along the way because this place is very, very expensive.

All in all, I have to say Malibu is most seductive and the sheer physical beauty of the place is enchanting. I might turn into a beach bum at this rate! I could see it happening.

The sexy G                                                                            franuc@aol.com

It is the 4^th of July weekend, and I’m going to write about a subject that on the surface seems oddly funny, but underneath, I find scary because it is all too common.

There is an epidemic that seems to affect men more than women although women are not immune. What has society done to many men that makes them decide to sacrifice everything they worked hard to achieve in their careers and families for an unrealistic dream? It boggles the mind! Unfortunately, men are taught at a young age that sexual conquests and money are the epitome of success.

So, they marry and have families. Have they chosen a wife for convenience, practicality or were they in love until the first crisis. Is it too boring to raise a family? Not enough dazzle? Are men so easy flattered and addicted to testosterone pumps? For the most part, all a woman has to do is massage a male ego and you have them at your beck and call – oh, and mostly, the women they choose to cheat with are younger and look good by American standards, (but not necessarily).

It is so easy to capture a man by telling him he is the very best, the smartest, the greatest lover and whatever else you might want to throw in. Are men, by and large, emotionally trapped in a fifteen year-old mentality (or younger) when they were ruled by hormones? It is hard to believe, but the overall picture is there as proof.

My favorite columnist is Maureen Dowd who writes for The New York Times. Dowd wrote an article on June 28^th, 2009, called Genius in the Bottle. She is so very clever, humorous (sometimes appropriately biting), and insightful. I quote: “As in all great affairs, Mark Sanford fell in love simultaneously with a woman and himself – with the dashing new version of himself he saw in her molten eyes.”

Why are so many men so susceptible to those adoring black smoldering eyes, the baby blues, the hazels with soulful brown flecks, searing amber or freckled green? I suspect it is the adoration emanating from those eyes, sensuous body language, calculated words and deeds (like really good oral sex).

All of these terrific qualities can be had with spouses if the male put themselves smack in the middle of domestic life. I have often seen men run from that world and keep only a pretense of a happy family. Actually, many wives and partners are resentful of the mental detachment that occurs in their mates when children and home life become the epicenter.

To my way of thinking, a man must earn those goodies in order to retain romance. Remember, once you and mistress/girlfriend (whatever) become domesticated animals, the process starts over. Long term, even the most pliable mistress will begin to demand some participating responsibility. I can’t tell you how many times a man has complained about a second or third – even fourth marriage that started with hot romance and became tamed. Is it like work, fellows. Too bad all the good stuff in relationships don’t come with no-strings attached. And until you understand that, you’ll never be happy. A person can get addicted to the adrenaline surge that comes with the each new beginning romance. 

A man, as many politicians have shown, is often willing to lose the castle and all that goes with it, searching for the searing touch of another woman. He complains his wife no longer provides that thrill. The wife, whether she is working and domestically responsible, or at the top of the wealth strata, she is still part of the humdrum, every day scene. That includes money issues, raising children and making pressing decisions. The partner worries while the mistress is being cared for with little to no interference from daily living. She doesn’t have to worry about dirty laundry or budgets. Usually, her services are well paid for.

It is this other woman that provides the dream fantasy of perpetually iced champagne, violins behind the curtains and unconditional love whereas with his wife, he has to be accountable. Being accountable is the key phrase. With a mistress – maybe there is lots of phone sex, sexy e-mails, hot sex in bed – sex, sex, sex that says to him that she loves him. As you know from my other blogs, I think lovemaking is great but so much of it is psychological. If a man treats his wife like a non-entity, what kind of sex should he expect? Maybe he sets up a hostile atmosphere so he can go looking outside the marriage.

If he curtails his wife’s spending, but throws lots of money at his mistress, he is in essence paying to build the ego/sexual nirvana that allows him think (however short-lived) he’s arrived.

Continuing what Dowd said in the same article: “He wanted to get his girlfriend a DVD of the movie “The Holiday,” presumably the Cameron Diaz-Kate Winslet chick flick about two women, one from L.A. and one from England, who trade homes and lives. He was fantasizing about catapulting himself into an exotic life where stimulus had nothing to do with budgets.”

What do people think when the occasional woman does this. She’s deserting her children? She’s a slut? Irresponsible bitch? Many times a man is applauded for seeking his fantasy no matter what the cost. It’s all about growing up! Anything good comes at a cost and that includes a great relationship.

The Sexy G.                                                                      franuc@aol.com